Back before we concerned ourselves with stupid insignificant bullshit like Apple vs. Android, the multiple bloody clashes between Team Edward and Team Jacob*, and Y2K hysteria vs. common sense we had REAL problems to deal with.
Way back when we had two separate, but (supposedly) equal X-Men teams and if you didn’t believe STRONGLY that one was significantly better than the other then you were lying to the entire world and to your own stupid self. Idiot.
Anyone with an IQ higher than that of the pants I’m currently wearing KNOWS in the center of their very heart and soul that the Blue Team was where it was at.
“But Ed”, you say handsomely and intelligently, “the Blue Team had Gambit and you hate Gambit. And then you mix in the OTHER worst accent in the Marvel U in the form of Rogue’s ‘sugah’s and other faux southern charm bullshit ‘ah say ah say ah say’ Foghorn Leghorn colloquialisms. And Jubilee? You’re really going to claim that the team with cut-rate Marvel version of Robin, Jubilee, is the superior team? You’re an idiot and more than a little crazy and probably drunk and you’ve just absolutely shredded every last bit of credibility you’ve built up by being right about everything for years”.
First of all: Good for you for having strong feelings about this. If we can’t care about the important stuff like how awful Gambit is then what are we even doing here?
Secondly: Look, all of that is true (not the me being drunk part… as far as you know) but overcoming the black hole of suck that is Gambit and still being the best is testament to HOW COOL the Blue Team was. And this isn’t just the knee-jerk reaction of 12 year old fanboy Ed thinking “WOLVERINE IS SO COOL” (ok, it’s a little bit that), it’s Cyclops being strong leader Cyclops and Beast saying “oh my stars and garters” and fighting Omega Red and Jim Lee and travelling to the Mojoverse toOK FINE IT’S BECAUSE OF THIS DRAWING OF PSYLOCKE IN THIS BATHING SUIT OK!!!!!!
What can I say? Purple haired British psychics transformed into Japanese assassins by falling through the Siege Perilous except it wasn’t really a transformation because she was sort of mind and body melded/swapped with an entirely different person so her mind and powers were all jumbled and split between two people and the X-Men were just all “well I guess she’s Japanese now, case closed” but then the “real” Psylocke showed up and they fought and something about cybernetic eyes (and maybe the Legacy Virus?) and I’m sure it all got worked out eventually, but by that point I was taking a break from the X-Men so I’m not really sure what wound up happening to her) are a real weak spot for me. I’m complicated.
*Having recently seen a Twilight movies (I don’t know which one… the one where they stand around in the woods with furrowed brows and look really worried about stuff. That one.) can I just ask how this is even a fucking question? The pale broody guy who pulls that classic “I love you, that’s why I have to abandon you” bullshit and probably listens to a lot of really sad bastard music and you KNOW he’s always cold and clammy OR the muscly Native American kid who always has your back, does sweet parkour jump kick moves to get up to your second floor window, rarely wears a shirt, and TURNS INTO A TOTALLY RAD FUCKING WOLF (ok, yeah, he’s walking around in jean shorts a lot, but still)? Seriously!?!? How did this stretch out over several movies? Get your shit together frowny, pouty girl. Furrow your brow REAL hard and realize that you have the opportunity to date someone WHO TURNS INTO A GIANT FUCKING WOLF!